Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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