we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
