I want to make a zoo with you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
