For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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