So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
