omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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