I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
