What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
