Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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