i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
