Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
