yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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