having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
