:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
