A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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