How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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