She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
ttyl tear gas
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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