"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize