when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
