i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
