nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
