Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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