Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
