If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
