no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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