I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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