so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
