next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
