Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
