im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
