weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
