My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
