Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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