Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
