summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Randomize
