I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize