My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
