3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
