that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
