tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
