no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
