we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
