So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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