You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
