If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
