Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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