Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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