hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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