No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
