I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
