normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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