You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
