so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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