Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
