you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
