chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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